The Gospel According to Bo
Chapter 2
1 One time, I think it musta been on a Teusdee, we was at my Uncle Brett’s fourth weddin’ down at Mud Creek First Baptist, which is outside ‘a Bessamer. An’ Josh’s momma Mary-jo was there, 2 Anyways, Josh and his boys was invited too. 3 When the coolers dit’n have any PBR left, Mary-jo says, “Josh they ain’t gotny more beer!”
4 “Momma, why you went an’ brought me inta’ this?” Josh said. “Ain’t like I’m famous yet!”
5 But Mary-jo got all Brett’s kids together an’ said, “Listen ta Josh, He knows what’s goin’ happen.”
6 Now in Mud Creek First Baptist Church, they’s got a BIG ol’ baptismal with a buncha spouts.
7 So Josh says to Brett’s kids “Turn them spouts an’ fill up this here tub!”; so they filled it right up to the brim.
8 Then he says, “Now dip them Solo-cups in the water an’ take it to yer grandpappy.”
They did, 9 an’ Brett’s dad Rusty sipped his cup and tasted him some transmutated beer! An’ he dit’n know where'n the hell the beer come from, so he asks his grandkids. Then he hollers at Brett 10 an’ he says, “Ever’one puts the good beer in the coolers first then when ever’one gets all drunk an’ stupid they bust out the piss-water, but you done broke out the Coors Banquet just now!”
11 So what Josh done there at Mud Creek First Baptist was the first way he showed ever’one how cool he was, an’ all his boys knew he was it.
12 Then He an’ Mary-jo and all his boys went down to Talledega fer the weekend to tailgate an’ watch Dale win the 500.